The Man in the Mirror

*important note - this post contains pictures of me in my underwear. If that's not your thing, I understand.*

So. It's January 1st. Time for the standard resolutions - Go to the gym more.  Eat healthier.  Lose weight.

Blah blah blah.

The same old, year after year after year.

Except for this year.

So long 2013!

This year is the one where everything changes. Literally.

I am having gastric bypass surgery at the end of February.

While this is a horsey blog, this post definitely falls under the "fat girl" category.

Being overweight has shaped me (in some ways quite literally).  It has determined the horse I purchased, which horse I sold, how I ride, what shows I choose to compete in - the list goes on and on and on. It also determines where I shop, what I buy, how anxious I feel on any given day. It has ruined my relationship with my mother, stopped several relationships in their tracks. I could go on, but that would be even more depressing.

I want to lose weight for all the right reasons (good health, longer life, able to be more active).

And if I'm honest, I want to lose weight for all the wrong reasons too. I want to go into any store I choose and buy something. I want to meet boys and not be immediately dismissed. I want to be thin! There, I said it. I know, I know. Love yourself, love your body, and all the rest. I'm over it.

So, in the interest of full disclosure, I am posting weekly pictures of myself along with my weight. I'm open to suggestions, critiques, whatever. I'm not shy.

Week 1.  January 2, 2014.  305 lbs.  Approximately 6 weeks to surgery.

Not the best

Sorry it's so dark!

A picture does tell a thousand words. I'm not thrilled with the story these pictures tell, but onwards and upwards!